Monday, 16 May 2011

Something I would prefer NOT to have experience in

Nau mai, hoki mai and welcome back!

Last Thursday I was 12 weeks pregnant.  My plan was to phone and make an appointment with my mid-wife the following day...

But then I started spotting.  At first I was in denial, "No, I'm fine," I told myself,

"I'm 12 weeks pregnant so I won't be having a miscarriage..."

On Friday I was still spotting and my denial turned to grief because I knew there was no point hoping against the odds.  Even so, I frantically looked on the internet looking for some kind of miracle statement telling me I was imagining things.  The best I came up with was; "The chances of losing a baby at 12 weeks are 1% to 2%,"

Well, guess who became part of that statistic on Saturday?

It was a terrible ordeal, one which I've unfortunately experienced before, but had hoped I'd never have to experience again.

This time, however, I had to have a blood transfusion in the early hours of Sunday morning.

I didn't mind the transfusion as such, but it reminded me of my mum and how she had to have blood transfusion after blood transfusion.  My haemoglobin count was exactly like my mum's.  Suddenly I'm wondering if I'm going to have cold agglutinin like my mum?!

But I dismissed those thoughts as quickly as I could.  I needed to relax my body quickly otherwise panic could take over.  I told myself that being in a room on my own and allowing fear to take over is not the best idea.

Sunday I just felt angry for not taking better care of myself.  I tried blaming it on all the early hours and late nights with classes for the kids, my own studies and a host of other issues I threw into the equation.

By the time I came home later that afternoon, I had accepted it was done and dusted and time to look to the future.

So, that's four souls with Our Heavenly Father now ...

Not sure when I will make the next blog post, but I'll try to record something of the children's work as soon as I can.

Thanks for dropping by
ka kite ano

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